1
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,360
Right, take your jackets off.

2
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:42,800
We shall all feel better for a free
flow of air round the old shirt.

3
00:00:53,840 --> 00:01:00,400
Hey, strap's a bit loose.
I know. I'm losing weight.

4
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:10,860
There. That should be
wide enough for our purposes.

5
00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:14,840
That man! That man!
Take 'em off! Take 'em off!

6
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:19,980
Oh, glass in the eyes. Yes, I can
just see fragments in the eyeballs.

7
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:25,200
You can't play in those, you know.
Football is a very physical game.

8
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,540
Not the way I play it.
You'd better take 'em off.

9
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:36,480
Otherwise he'll have us shot
at dawn for disobeying an order. It won't be long, anyway.

10
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:45,100
Can you smell that air? I can feel
it whistling up me... No vulgarity! Healthy minds in healthy bodies!

11
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:49,380
At least vulgarity
can be done with your coat on(!)

12
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:56,780
We want to get the blood surging,
want some colour in the cheeks, want somebody in goal...

13
00:01:56,780 --> 00:02:01,580
Why is it you can always see
his little perforations?!

14
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:15,000
Ohh!
 Oh, you'll never walk alone. 

15
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:26,460
WITH PAIN: I'll keep goal.
I want you to slam them at me unmercifully.

16
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:29,720
Don't spare me.

17
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,280
Foggy! Watch this!

18
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:45,600
Foul!
WHISTLE BLOWS

19
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,580
OW! Ahh! Ah!

20
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:54,200
Watch out, Foggy!

21
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:00,160
Ah-ha. Hey hey!

22
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:06,020
Mister, can I have my wellie back?

23
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,480
Oh, shut up!

24
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:18,620
It's a crude, unpolished game.
It nearly polished THEE off!

25
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:27,280
It lacks finesse. It's very much
the knock-about sport of the working classes. What's he on about?

26
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:33,280
The knock-about sport
of the working classes - the blonde from Gregson Street.

27
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:38,300
Trudy Edwards? Ha! He knows her,
tha sees. Only by reputation.

28
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,360
Ah, but what a reputation!

29
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,460
She WAS going out with Tommy Weston.
I hear he's better now.

30
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:56,600
I was talking about the intrinsic
crudity of the game of football. Give over, it's pure poetry. Rubbish!

31
00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,740
What's your game, then?
..Goff.

32
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:04,900
BOTH: Goff?!
Well, golf then.

33
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:12,380
It's a queen of sport - bunkers,
niblicks, birdies, eagles, and a certain indefinable social prestige.

34
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:15,600
Tha plays golf...goff?!

35
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:22,900
All those times you lounged
with a drink in the clubhouse in St Andrews you never saw me play?

36
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,360
Not even a peekaboo.

37
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:34,200
Ohh! Ugh! Yeugh! Phah!
What's up now? It's the same tea as always.

38
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,640
I know. I don't know
how tha does it! Pshaw! Dear!

39
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,640
Neither do I at this price(!)

40
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:52,120
Here. Keep this thing
on your wrist. Aw, it's got all sugar on it. Oi! Careful.

41
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,120
Steady on! The plating'll come off.

42
00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,860
That's waterproof!
But is it "Sid's tea-proof"? Oh!

43
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,980
Oh, look. Wear it round your neck.
I can't tell the time under me chin.

44
00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:15,120
Slip your arm out. We're not going
to play football again, are we? No.

45
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:20,980
Hold your hand out, naughty boy.
Try that. There. You try it there.

46
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:26,040
Slip your arm out if you want the
time. That way you won't lose it.

47
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,660
It'll keep it out of Sid's tea.

48
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:34,580
I fought the Third Reich on better.
You nearly lost, though!

49
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:39,620
We went to school all them years.
We got the three Rs and woodwork.

50
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:42,320
Nothing on how to fight the Reich!

51
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:47,120
When have YOU played golf?
I used to play regularly.

52
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:52,880
It was part of the social life when
I was stationed in the Canal Zone.

53
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:57,420
You'd have been better off
learning how to swim.

54
00:05:57,420 --> 00:06:05,100
Hey, I didn't know
you had golf courses in the desert. Oh, yes. It's just one big bunker.

55
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:09,180
I wouldn't mind reactivating
the old clubs again.

56
00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:15,320
When did tha last play?
Oh, it's like riding a bicycle - you never forget.

57
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,060
True, elephants and bicycle riders
never forget.

58
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:23,860
Give a bicycle rider a bun, and 20
years later tweak him on the trunk

59
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:27,760
and you will hear him trumpeting
with pleasure.

60
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:32,800
When WAS it you last played?
..September. September?

61
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,200
..1939.

62
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:42,200
I was set for the Juniors' Cup when
that fool, Hitler, invaded Poland.

63
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,460
He thought he'd lose
the Juniors' Cup(!)

64
00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:50,060
1939!
You can't call yourself a golfer.

65
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:55,120
Murder once, you're a murderer
for life. Or you used to be!

66
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,560
Now it's 12 years,
and society's fault.

67
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,900
1939!

68
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:06,800
I've a set of high-class equipment
up in the attic. Do you know...

69
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:12,060
I bet the last of the Dewhursts
could still whack a nifty ball.

70
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:16,320
Couldn't hit it wi' a bargepole!
I've a natural swing.

71
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:21,980
I know - from the hip, with a
slight touch of the "Hello, sailor".

72
00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:24,320
Ah-ah.

73
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:28,140
You can't ruffle
my iron self-control.

74
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:34,200
I'm prepared to show my aptitude
on any course you choose. Is thee?

75
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,980
It'll be boring. No wonder
Hitler preferred invading Poland.

76
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:44,080
This afternoon, then. Get a cheap
ticket and make a fool of yourself.

77
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:48,560
I accept your challenge.
We shall see who looks foolish.

78
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:53,980
You forget we of the middle classes
take our recreations seriously.

79
00:07:56,820 --> 00:08:01,560
Fool! That hat was made by
the premier hatter of Cleckheaton.

80
00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:15,342
I'm sure they're in here somewhere.

81
00:08:15,342 --> 00:08:20,742
It looks like the den
of the Great Wardrobe Spider!

82
00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:27,662
Hey, Norm, can you smoke up here?
Only your own. I'll wait, then.

83
00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:31,942
See its claw marks?
What? The Great Wardrobe Spider.

84
00:08:31,942 --> 00:08:37,142
You can see where it's lured pieces
of furniture through that door-hole.

85
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:43,762
After first stinging them
with a bite in the main arterial dovetail joint.

86
00:08:43,762 --> 00:08:46,222
Aah! Spiderman! No!

87
00:08:48,882 --> 00:08:52,882
MAKES SOUNDS OF PISTOL SHOTS

88
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:06,080
Can we get on searching? It's a
half-set in a stout leather bag.

89
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:11,460
Talking of a stout leather bag,
where's your landlady?

90
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:15,980
She goes once a week
to have her hair set in concrete.

91
00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:20,880
Most of this stuff is hers.
I should hope so!

92
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,500
My monogram is on
some of the better pieces.

93
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:28,960
COD? What?
Call for One of the Dewhursts.

94
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:35,080
Hey, Norm, who was "Gig-li"?
Who was this?

95
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:44,140
I'm grateful for the usual
high standard of assistance I've come to expect from you two.

96
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:49,880
Let Corporal Dewhurst do
all the work. It's my back. Oooh.

97
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,440
Oh!

98
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,960
Hey-up! She looks like Nora Batty!

99
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,640
Lend us your stays.
My back is something terrible.

100
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,460
Here we go again - the phantom back.

101
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:08,940
His slipped disc's
cost enough in benefits to buy a nuclear submarine.

102
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:14,520
That expression! Don't tell me
THAT ever needed liberating.

103
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:19,820
That brings back memories
of Mersa Metru. Was that her name?

104
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:24,140
How many games have been
played on that in the mess?

105
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:29,080
Quite a number, I would judge.
Going by her expression.

106
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,860
Hey, look what's in here!

107
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:35,580
Will you come out
of other people's drawers. Ow!

108
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:39,360
PILLOCK! Me finger! Oh-ho!

109
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,520
You're very nimble on your feet.

110
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,680
Hey, look. Anyone for tennis?

111
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:52,700
That's just what I want. It won't
go with your wellies. Let us try.

112
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:59,360
Ah, I knew they were here somewhere.
All right, old clubs, help is at hand.

113
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:03,020
Oh, Nora, that is definitely you!

114
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:09,300
I don't know what to do
about your wooden leg, though. Never mind, sweetheart,

115
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:13,740
you SHALL go to the ball.
Ta-da!

116
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:18,240
Ah.
Will you stop messing about?

117
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:25,200
Turn that thing off. Here.
Now then, I'll show you a trick or two.

118
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:29,100
Very good, Foggy. We liked
the first trick. Shut up!

119
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:34,680
You couldn't buy a set of clubs
like this these days, you know.

120
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:38,020
Fashioned by craftsmen,
these were...

121
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,660
Now...

122
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:47,940
You know, some fool's had these
near the heat.

123
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,500
Oh.

124
00:11:54,500 --> 00:12:01,120
D'you think I'd get round with them?
Do it well and they'll all want one(!)

125
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:07,440
The Dales could be full
of the sounds of men twisting their mashie-niblicks.

126
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:17,560
There we are, love. There's your
change. Did you enjoy that? Good. Come again. Tell your friends.

127
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:21,440
Mind crossing that road, won't you?
Bye-bye.

128
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,480
HUMS HAPPILY

129
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,340
What's up wi' YOU? You not well?

130
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,940
No sarcasm, please.

131
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:48,480
Well, all this activity
deserves comment.

132
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,000
Usually, it's like
you've got rigor mortis.

133
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:59,580
Very humorous, love.
I feared we'd eventually bury you with your elbow still on the counter.

134
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:03,740
Clegg says marriage
is two people sharing a bathroom -

135
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:06,820
like they do in prison!

136
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:10,140
Still, you've moved briskly before.

137
00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:15,640
There was that occasion you lowered
your idle, fat butt on my hotplate.

138
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,140
I'm just clearing up early.

139
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,520
Oh, this is gonna be good(!)

140
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,600
Let's hear it, then. Why?
Why?

141
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,300
Why?
Well...um...

142
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:37,520
Why be tied to a rigid timetable?
Man's not a machine, he's impulsive.

143
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:45,040
Sara Gledhill's got
your fingermarks to prove it. You want every day the same.

144
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,620
But Man will not be confined
by routine.

145
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:54,000
Gaugin gave a good job up to paint
dusky maidens in the South Pacific.

146
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,280
Hey, he's a mucky devil!
Just something he had to do.

147
00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:04,260
You try laying a paint brush
on Sara Gledhill, I'll break both your elbows.

148
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:08,780
It's going to be quiet.
I thought we'd close early. Oh?

149
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:15,200
I could take the van
and collect them spuds you've been wanting from Morris's.

150
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,260
LIAR!

151
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:22,960
OK, I'm picking Mrs Gledill up,
for a turn in my pleasure waggon.

152
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:27,740
You're going golfing with them
three. I heard you arrange it!

153
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,680
Go!

154
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:54,040
BICYCLE SQUEAKS

155
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,560
Hey-up!

156
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:14,960
Ohhh...twinges of cramp in the calf.

157
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:20,240
It's the disability feared most
by all virtuosos of the bicycle.

158
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:28,320
You were struggling coming uphill.
I almost thought you were going to get off and walk(!) Cor, hoo-hoo!

159
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,000
Ay, it was just an idea I had(!)

160
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:37,840
Why do we have all the fleshy
padding at the back of the leg

161
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,820
and none where you need it -
on the shin?

162
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,840
(Hey! ..Look at this lot.)

163
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:53,700
Fancy being up for municipal rape
and finding that lot on the jury!

164
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,960
Lady golfers!

165
00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:01,860
They say Hitler's bodyguard was
composed of lady golfers. Do they?

166
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,820
Oh, where the hell is he?

167
00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:10,380
I bet he's sneaking a practice
wi' them curly clubs. He wouldn't.

168
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:16,600
Foggy's wears his cockups on his
sleeve. Here comes the cockup now!

169
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:35,160
Have you been drinking?
You'll show me up in front of the Tory Party at play.

170
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,780
Hey-up! It's fancy-dress day.

171
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:42,900
You'd have thought going that far,
he'd have put a red nose on.

172
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:48,300
You didn't spend much time choosing
sporting gear. I changed me jacket.

173
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:54,980
What did you change it for?!
It's my sporting jacket. I wear it at Doncaster races.

174
00:16:54,980 --> 00:17:00,560
Here! You can carry these.
I want you to hide behind them.

175
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:08,240
Whenever I look in your direction,
I want to see plenty of golf bag and very little YOU.

176
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,960
He's made you his caddie. Oh, ta(!)

177
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,760
He's got to give you a tip.

178
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,080
Gary Player gave his caddie
all his winnings.

179
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,420
HE'S not going to win anything!

180
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:30,320
If you do it for a penny a stroke,
by the end of the day you'll be able to pay off the national debt.

181
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,980
How are the greens?

182
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:43,740
I'm not going to carry
this lot around. Oh!

183
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:49,040
Watch out! Look what you're doing!
You should have one of them.

184
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:54,240
Where's big mouth from the cafe?
No point in starting without him.

185
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:59,500
HE'LL not take a gentleman's word
for the score. What's the time?

186
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:02,220
Just a moment.

187
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:04,600
There. Ten past.

188
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,280
Cover that shirt up. What the 'eck!

189
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:15,380
Will you get off?
You great ninny, you've got me arm in me pocket, now.

190
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:19,760
Suppose they think we're related?!
Not a hope.

191
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,300
What're you doing?

192
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:30,300
BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

193
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,640
SILENCE

194
00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,240
Good afternoon.

195
00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:42,060
Oh!

196
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:44,520
Keep him out of here.

197
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:53,540
Don't do anything. Don't say
anything. Take your cue from me.

198
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,660
Sit down there.

199
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,400
Sit down there.

200
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:10,680
Take that revolting hat off. Now,
while I'm at the bar...don't move.

201
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:15,460
If you stir, I'll slice
both ears off with a No. 4 iron.

202
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:19,920
Old chap, what're you drinking?
A pint.

203
00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:24,560
A half! It's not a filling station.

204
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,400
And try not to get froth
all over your face.

205
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:35,520
You don't get froth on gnat's water!
Keep your voice down! His voice's rougher than his chin.

206
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:43,020
Ah, good day to you, steward.
Good day, sir. Three halves of your ale, please.

207
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:48,300
One each for us and one for our, er,
caddie, there. Hey-up, Henry Cotton.

208
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:54,900
If I've got to stay
in this steaming jungle, can I have a packet of monkey nuts?

209
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:06,780
He's been a source of embarrassment
to me all day. The humiliation!

210
00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:13,520
All I wanted was a bag of nuts!
SID: You've a bag of clubs instead!

211
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:18,340
And the Lord appeared and said,
"I am the Lord thy God."

212
00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:25,060
Whereupon they were much displeased,
saying, "Oh, yes? And what's your handicap, then?"

213
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,660
Look at him! Just LOOK at him.

214
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:34,940
It's what you'd expect if you tried
to conjure a small evil spirit at night in an Oxfam shop.

215
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:37,580
I'll bet there's rabbits round here.

216
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:40,640
And they're all very house-proud -

217
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,480
every hole's got a little number on.

218
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:48,720
Pay attention to Foggy when he's
insulting you. You can't insult HIM.

219
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:54,000
I'm sure you could if you asked him
nicely. If you ask me nicely. Go on!

220
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,500
COMPO WHISTLES TO HIMSELF

221
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,720
Ssh.

222
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,540
CARRIES ON WHISTLING

223
00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:12,880
Ssh.
STOPS WHISTLING

224
00:21:18,220 --> 00:21:21,360
YAWNS NOISILY

225
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,580
Take this peppermint and shut up!

226
00:21:27,580 --> 00:21:30,320
Well! What a performance!

227
00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:43,000
Hey-up! I saw a rabbit!

228
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,320
I saw one! Shut up! Over there!

229
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:51,480
All right, I'll move on, start at
the second. No, don't apologise(!)

230
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:56,440
Who's apologising? I'll give this
one a miss. That's very kind of you.

231
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,120
Sorry about this.

232
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:09,200
That were a buck rabbit!
I swear, it was that big.

233
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,080
That's a pony. What about that big?

234
00:22:13,220 --> 00:22:16,560
You've forgotten your balls, sir.

235
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,800
Balls, sir! And you, sir!

236
00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:25,820
We'll return them
when we pass him on his way back.

237
00:22:25,820 --> 00:22:33,660
They're too expensive to lose.
The shop here pays a shilling for every one you find. A shilling each?

238
00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:38,960
You can forget that. They're going
straight back to their owner.

239
00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:43,520
A shilling! A shilling each.

240
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:50,340
It's noticeable how impressed
you've suddenly become by the game of golf.

241
00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:53,940
WHISTLES CHEERFULLY

242
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:59,280
How's he going to hit it with that?
Better off with a stick of rhubarb!

243
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,240
Ohh. Yes. Ahem!

244
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:54,480
MAKES ANGRY NOISES
Get on with you!

245
00:23:55,980 --> 00:24:01,020
Ah! Gotcha! ..Yes, yes.
There she goes.

246
00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:09,280
Ah, yes...it's all coming back
to me. All right, keeping the score then, that's 1.

247
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:15,800
Where's frog face?
Trust him to miss my triumph. Has he gone after that rabbit?

248
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:22,640
I shouldn't think so,
not without help. According to him it was, oh...four foot high.

249
00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:54,360
I'm getting the hang of it - matter
of compensating for the curve. Of course. Yes.

250
00:24:58,100 --> 00:25:01,340
Aah! Ah! Ooh! Oh!

251
00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:10,940
43.

252
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,280
We won't count that one.

253
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:14,680
I hit it! It's gone for miles!
You... Ahem, come on chaps, get up.

254
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,540
Come on. On your feet. Follow me.

255
00:26:17,540 --> 00:26:20,040
Come on, up the fairway.

256
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,120
Oh, ho-ho!

257
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,480
Look! There it is.

258
00:26:58,380 --> 00:27:05,500
Get your bargain balls here - 4p.
That's all they are. Here we are, sir, half-a-dozen.

259
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:11,760
Thank you. You won't buy
balls like this anywhere else. Only slightly soiled.

260
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,620
You great idiot, you!

261
00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:35,160
You knocked it off!
You've moved my ball!

262
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,380
Are you related to those blasted...

263
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,240
All right, you've made your point.

264
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,540
Only the middle classes
could take THIS seriously.

265
00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:58,040
I'm going before she DOES think I'm
off in my pleasure wagon. Ta-ra.

266
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,580
Any more of you?!

267
00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:03,040
Perhaps we can get on, then.

268
00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:10,340
Drinks are on me, tonight!

269
00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:15,280
All the bars are closed by now,
except in downtown Majorca.

270
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,320
That man! Hold that lamp still.

271
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,640
Dewhurst never gives up.

272
00:28:58,180 --> 00:29:02,340
Subtitles by Carolyn Donaldson, BBC

273
00:29:02,390 --> 00:29:06,940
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